Wajahat Gulzar (Wajnoor)
Being a man I’m feeling ashamed while writing on this topic because I’m confused about the nature of a man how he could be so feral. A mother who gives birth and feeds her child with her blood is being bashed by the same children. A women who remains ready everytime to tackle anything for her husband is being homicided by the same person.
A girl who is today’s daughter, sister as well as tomorrows mother is being ravished by her own father.one who is father of his own daughters is using an invective squint for the daughters of others ,how is it possible that people will behold towards his daughter with candid eyes. It is said that “As You Sow So Shall You Reap “.
The most infectious disease which is spreading faster than covid-19 is domestic abuse. In every nook and corner of the world this is spreading due to the depression caused by this pandemic and has resulted in the sudden increase in domestic violence Restrictions were imposed by the Government to stop the spread of covid-19 and protect the people from this deadly virus. Due to which people got caged in their houses and unfortunately it resulted in the change of their behaviorical manner.
According to One if the leading Sociologist Marianne Hester from Bristol University who studies the abusive relationship, she said that there was ever reason to believe that restrictions imposed to keep the virus from spreading would have such an affect. It is obvious when families start living together for long time with depressed life it leads to domestic violence .
Extension of lock down resulted in the extension of domestic abuse. United Nations at an international level Urged the Government Of all countries For urgent action to combat world wide end of domestic violence. As per the UN Secretary General Antonio Guterres he wrote In his twitter Post that “Peace is not just the absence of war.Many women under lock down for covid19 face violence where they should be safest:in their homes”.
How a man could be so wild on humans that too mostly with those persons whom with he is is deep relationship. God has gifted the earth with two ever felicities Men And Women. And both of them are having the same right to live their life happily with love and compassion .Mercy is such an act of blessing which God has showered upon us in the form of Women And it our duty that we should protect our women from every evil.
When we talk of domestic violence we usually think of physical assault that results in visible injuries to the victim. This is only one type of domestic abuse, there are numerous ways through which women are being abused ,each of which has its devastating consequences .if we talk of the physical abuse it may place the victim at higher risk but long term destruction of personhood that accompanies the other forms of abuse is Significant and can’t be minimized.
In the present times the most using way to abuse women is “control “.
Controlling behavior is a way for the abuser to maintain dominance over the victim.Most of the couples are using to monitor the mobile phones of one another .Monitoring phone calls, using caller ID or other number monitoring devises, not allowing the victim to make or receive phone calls.Not allowing them to live their life as per their choice. Calling or coming home unexpectedly to check up on them. This may initially start as what appears to be a loving gesture, but becomes a sign of jealousy or possessiveness.
Using the children to control the victim parent by using the children as spies, threatening to kill, hurt or kidnap the children, physical and/or sexual abuse of the children, and threats to call Department of Child Safety (DCS, formerly CPS) if the mother leaves the relationship.
“Sexual abuse” is using sex in an exploitative fashion or forcing sex on another person. Having consented to sexual activity in the past does not indicate current consent.” Sexual abuse” may involve both verbal and physical behavior.
This may include using force, coercion, guilt, or manipulation or not considering the victim’s desire to have sex. This may include making the victim have sex with others, have unwanted sexual experiences, or be involuntarily involved in prostitution.
“Emotional Abuse & Intimidation” according to the AMEND Workbook for Ending Violent Behavior, emotional abuse is any behavior that exploits anther’s vulnerability, insecurity, or character. Such behaviors include continuous degradation, intimidation, manipulation, brainwashing, or control of another to the detriment of the individual.Just like Insulting or criticizing to undermine the victim’s self-confidence. This includes public humiliation, as well as actual or threatened rejection.
One of the main and a leading domestic abuse “Economic Abuse”
Financial abuse is a way to control the victim through manipulation of economic resources.
Controlling the family income and either not allowing the victim access to money or rigidly limiting their access to family funds. This may also include keeping financial secrets or hidden accounts, putting the victim on an allowance or allowing the victim no say in how money is spent, or making them turn their paycheck over to the perpetrator.
Causing the victim to lose a job or preventing them from taking a job. The abuser can make the victim lose their job by making them late for work, refusing to provide transportation to work, calling/harassing/calling them at work.May Women mainly in INDIA fall prey to DOWRY and Plan suicide Because they are unable to pay it towards their in-laws home. Many women in India are without marriage because of huge demands of dowry.
A study sponsored by State Women Commission,J&K, and carried out by Valley’s well known Sociologist, Prof. Bashir Ahmad Dabla in 2003 revealed that ’40 percent women in Kashmir were physically abused by husbands.’State Women Commission J&K receives 1600 -1700 domestic violence cases every year but majority cases come from the Kashmir Valley.There is rise in domestic violence against women in the Kashmir Valley especially in Pulwama, Badgam and Srinagar, while Jammu region witnesses less domestic violence cases than the Kashmir valley, reveals the State Women Commission’s figures.
A study done by Medecins Sans Frontieres in mid 2005 reveals that Kashmiri womeamong the worst sufferers of sexual violence in the world. Itfurther mentions that since the beginning of the armed struggle in Kashmir in 1989, sexual violence has been routinely perpetrated on Kashmiri women, with 11.6 per cent of respondents saying they were victims of sexual abuse. Interestingly, the figure is much higher than that of Sierra Leone, Sri Lanka and Chechnya.
The state home department has no specific data in this regard for the last 17 years. This serves as a telling comment on the plight of women and on the indifferent attitude of the state towards addressing the issue. Cases of rape and molestation abound in Kashmir and many go unreported because of the fear of social stigma, and of reprisal by state agencies. And even in those cases, where the victims manage to transcend these fears and report the matter to police, they achieve little or no justice. More often, police refuses to lodge an FIR against the troops.
There is somehow lack of interest of Government in defending the women or protecting them from violation that is the reason they are taking it easy. If Government have taken any major step against Domestic Abuse then there might not be such huge cases of violence over women. Government must look after this matter without doing any politics on it ,as is it the matter of serious concern .Government Should put ban on Dowry System and should make it an offensive crime and should punish those who indulge in there actions.
We as humans should do our batter at ground levels to lessen the the cases .Don’t look either the victim is your relative or not, do it for the sake of humanity and for the sake of society .
No religion in the world permits to discriminate anyone. In every religion every one is given equal status to live their life without being slave or without being Victim of any kind of violence .Every religion teaches us a lesson of humanity that we must adopt in our lives then we can say we are successful.Every Religion has given women a high status among men but still we are out of it ,we are venery to discrimination. We should try our level best to make our society more equal for both men and women
She is gluming ,She is antsy ,But for me ,She tends to be stirring
She is suffering from depression ,She is prone to violation, But for me She tends to be ecstatic
She is a sight of abuse ,She is a target of obtuse ,But for me ,She tends to be huge
She is a cause, She is a chasten ,But for me ,She tends to be defenestrator.
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